1) Check the technique thread, theres a list of all monk skills based on which form you choose from 1 to 50
2) 90% of the time we are dps, in raids we are pullers, and protect against a complete whipe
3) stances depends on you form and server
PVE
Dragon
off-dps, lots and lots of dps, dangerous cause of he retarded mitigation penalty
def- good for pulling and mobs that cast a lot (50% fire/ice rune)
mid- down time recovery, small hp regen
Harmonious
off- only good once you get aum ti and can cancle some of the endurance cost out
def-amazing stance, will stay in it 90% of the game
mid- down time killer, keeps jin hi
Drunken
off- dps
def- good for pulls, good for tanking
mid- good for raids, refresh haste is really cool, okay for small group tanking with the agro

I wont go into the mechanics of attacks because theres supposed to be  big change in gu4 involving auto attack.  Short story for now, bladestaff , hand wraps, claws and ulaks, and knuckles will be your primary wearpons,....martial sword for tanking